good grief

So I sit here, trying to figure out what I should write, and I figure I'll just write what I'm thinking about. What's the point of this blog anyway? Next to no one reads it. I'm absolutely sure I'm not portraying who I really am - you get little snippets of things I think in the odd moments of my life, not my mainstream thinking. I almost feel like I'm back in high school, trying to be "darker" or "deeper" than the next person so that I seem more interesting. Kids that age try so hard to be interesting. I remember thinking back then that adults were boring - but being one now, it's more like I am interesting, but I hide those parts so I seem boring.

Good grief; I make no sense at all.

How come people don't use semicolons in their writing? I think it's because people don't know how. Sad. I like the semicolon, and I forgetting how to use it. Guess I'll go read up on it and refresh my English grammar. (That's what they call "free association" in writing - I think. I'm not a "writer".) Anyway, most of the time I think about work, money, sex, philosophy, family, God, and people. I can even get "deep" on some of those subjects. I think I wanted this blog to be about what goes on in my head in the cracks between those main topics, but I'm not really sure there's much of anything in those cracks.

Also, I hate debating stances on issues with most people, because most people don't know how to listen. When I'm in a discussion on almost any topic, I listen. I really try to hear what they are saying, how they are feeling, and what they really think. I ask questions to probe their thinking so I have a real solid understanding of where they're at. (-5 for ending sentence with preposition!*) So, that's one reason I don't write about my thoughts on religion, politics, etc. I try to appeal to a broader audience in other ways - like soliciting for casting couch teens naked pictures. Ugh.

Well, that's all I have for now. I'm not happy with this at all. Maybe it'll get better.